Finding a New Reality

Honor your reality Prompt

This post is in response to DIY MFA Book Club Prompt #2

I sit at my desk, iPod on the never ending shuffle and try to decide what to write for this DIY MFA prompt.  How do I honor my reality when I am still trying to find it?  How do I write a post like this without sounding like a whiney teenager?  (#Firstworldproblems)

 

How do I honor my reality when I'm still trying to find out what my reality is?

Two weeks ago I was a receptionist, a psychometrist, a consultant, a student, a mother, a wife, an artist, and a writer.  I am still most of those things but I had to let something go.  I went to my boss telling her we needed to replace me. The front desk needed someone who could be there more than 10 hours a week.  It wasn’t fair to the office and it would free me some time to study and make sure I kept my gpa up for my final year.

Well Monday that day came and I cleaned out my desk.  I am no longer a receptionist and if every thing goes as planned that is a role I won’t fall back into again.  For 11 years of my life I have worked in medical offices. I got to know the patients, listen to their stories, and help them how ever I could.  I don’t do that any longer.

Admittedly, this was my choice. I can study in the mornings before classes, I have time to write while the kids are at school.  I can spend my senior year keeping up and not forgetting what my friends and family look like. I can keep my grades up and get into a good master’s program.  Being a therapist will allow me to help people in ways I couldn’t as a receptionist.

So why the hell am I so sad? I chose this, I wanted this, and this is 100% the path I am passionate about.  Being a therapist is the road I have been on all my life.  Just like telling stories has always been a part of me.  Now that I have the opportunity to do the 2 things I love the most, shouldn’t I be ecstatic? Shouldn’t I be over the moon and typing my heart and soul into the story I’ve been playing with?

For now, I can not honor my reality.  I have to forge a new one again.

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